Being in a band

"Being in a band turns you into a child and keeps you there." – Thom Yorke

Why did I pick up a guitar at the age of 13?

To show off? No.

To give me something to do in my dull and unfulfilling life? No.

To impress girls? Never on the agenda…

No, in all seriousness, I picked up a guitar so that I could attempt to emulate my idols, because for some reason in my head I thought I would eventually get somewhere with it. My idols at the time being Billie Joe Armstrong and Dave Grohl, it gave me a stepping-stone on which to begin my journey into basic guitar playing. Eventually I stumbled upon a buddy of mine who was also pursuing his own musical endeavour behind a drumkit. A quick chat followed and wouldn’t you know we decided to start a band, even on the basis of knowing fuck all about my instrument; all I knew was that I had to hit the strings hard.

Some dodgy name suggestions followed and in the end, we settled on the questionable choice of Hail To The Hostage. Not sure why, but there you go. A guitarist and a drummer just makes me think of The White Stripes or The Black Keys, which makes me wonder why we never called ourselves The Grey Keeps. Nevertheless, we were too young to play any serious gigs but we were always up to jam. With the addition of a bassist not long after and a second guitarist to lead us down some sort of dreaded Avenged Sevenfold pathway, progress was being made… well that depends on what you mean by progress. Some instrumental songs were written but that’s as far as it went. Hail To The Hostage split on the basis that nobody in Wolverhampton could sing, and other projects were undertaken.

Time passed, and then I found a lifeline. The conversation went something like this:
“Picko, you wanna start a band?”

“Sure. What’s our band name?”

“Kids Held Captive”

“Fuck sake, ok then”

KHC were underway: singer, guitarist, bassist and drummer.

Playing my first gig at the age of 15 was a fantastic feeling. I may have looked nervous onstage as the video evidence would testify, but I thrived on the environment. Playing riffs I’d made myself that sounded like they came out of a teenage Kurt Cobain’s scrapbook, I was enjoying the feeling. The genre of the music was generally indie rock, with me trying my best to steer the band towards alternative rock, because as far as I’m concerned, you can’t nail an indie sound with an Ibanez. Anyway, the gig went well, plenty of people from our school turned up to show their support and see how many mosh pits they could get away with, and the other bands on the bill went down a storm. It was my best high in a while.

Open mic nights and family parties followed, but with a member of the band sodding off to boarding school, practice became an impossible task, and KHC has since been put on ‘indefinite hiatus’. The only memories left of us now are a few dodgy recordings, and the memory of our first gig with the fellow bands from Adams’ Grammar.

I want it back though. I want a band in Wolverhampton with my mates and I want to jump around onstage, but it’ll have to wait due to University. Give it two or three more years sadly. It pains me that I can’t since a lot of my instrumentally sound friends like the same bands as me, and have a genuine passion for music. I'm not content with going alone since my singing voice ain't exactly Noel Gallagher, let alone Jeff Buckley. For now I guess the only way I can cope with it is knee-sliding in my room with my Fender. Might write some songs on the piano too, we’ll see. I’ll just need to make a call and get my autotune back from One Direction.

Watch this space.

Review: Muse - Survival

My God I have been waiting for a new song for too long, so I have felt compelled to review this bitch.

Where do I start? Oh yeah, the piano introduction of course, and no, I don't mean 'Prelude', as that is a different track. I mean, oh please! Anyway, I'm told it wasn't just me that thought it was originally Scissor Sisters breaking into 'Laura'? Well, yeah, it seems very similar. This does not amuse me (pun overused, yet intended). To be fair, it contributes greatly to the fact that 'Survival' is about as camp as a row of tents. But then... one and a half minutes in, oh sweet giblets. There are some guitar techniques and detuned riffage similar to what made me fall in love with Muse in the first place. The song has definitely picked up and revived my faith in the band. 

However, to say this song is viciously dry-humping Queen would be to say the words of truth. I'm a Queen fan, but Muse are not Queen, they're Muse (funnily enough!), and 'Origin of Symmetry' and 'Absolution' didn't need to sound like Queen to be good. They were diverse but not overblown, and were stationed within acceptable levels of over-the-top-ness. Comparisons with Queen continue as the operatic choir vocals carry their soprano tones throughout the second verse. A bass-heavy verse climaxes in a fucking maniacal Rage Against The Machine riff-fest. I am literally drooling at this point - I have not wanted to headbang and/or fistpump this much since I heard the ending to 'Stockholm Syndrome'. Using a low G# string on the guitar has given this song beef not seen since 'Citizen Erased', which it definitely needed. If the guitar sections weren't in this song then I'd probably be more nervous of the reaction this song would get as the London 2012 Olympic Anthem. 

Guitar orgasms aside though, these lyrics are atrocious. I mean it, they're shite. Bellamy, who is a talented songwriter and lyricist, I expected to do better. Did he give a piece of paper to his baby boy and let him write it? "Life's race, I'm gonna win, I'll light the fuse, I'll never lose" - come on Bellamy, buck up your ideas man! That is dire. Guess what though? I DON'T CARE. His lyrics hardly make any sense anyway, so why should I care this time? Not going to deny that he has cocked up there though, so I hold more hope for some improvements in time for new album 'The 2nd Law'.

From what I've heard from the previews, it's going to be a controversial album. 'Survival' and a preview of 'Unsustainable' have surfaced over recent times, with the latter giving an insight into a new era of Muse-dubstep; Musestep if you will. Even for dubstep it sounds ok, but it's only a preview and I will reserve full judgement when the album is out in September. And as for the fans who are haters of this song, they're too narrow-minded and selfish to see that the band are no longer stuck in 'Origin of Symmetry' or 'Absolution', and even though I do cry out for some heavy rock from Muse, I accept what they currently are, which many others don't. As for now, enjoy the two links below (first minute of the first link is 'Prelude'), and enjoy having 'Survival' shoved in your faces and down your eardrums throughout London 2012.

Rating: 7/10

Best part: Nearly 3 minutes in: "I'm gonna wiiiiiiiiiin" followed by big fuck off pwoper beefy riff

The best job in the world?

Fuck that Australian tropical island caretaker (labelled as 'best job in the world'). As good as that job sounds, I might have an idea of what knocks it off it's throne.

Any idea who this man is?

No?

Don't blame you really.

This man goes by the name of Rob Holliday, and he plays guitar for dance-rock juggernauts The Prodigy. My friends, I believe this man is lucky enough to have the greatest job in the world right now, and let me tell you why.

The Prodigy were named not long ago as 'the greatest dance act of all time' by Mixmag, a famous dance music publication, pipping the likes of Daft Punk, Fatboy Slim and Aphex Twin to the top spot. They consistently sell their albums into the millions and based on the strength of their loyal fanbase have managed to keep selling out every venue they play. That and they are easily one of the best live acts in the world - if you haven't seen them live, you are seriously missing out. If you didn't enjoy it then you have my permission to slap me.

Holliday has played guitar for the band over two periods of time, whilst he has been juggling with stints playing guitar for Gary Numan, Marilyn Manson and his own band Sulpher. His full focus now is on The Prodigy, since a new album will be out in no time and the band will end up on some sort of everlasting world tour. Now, I've been a big fan of The Prodigy ever since my Dad blasted 'Fat Of The Land' through his car at any given opportunity to try and sway me at the age of 10 (he didn't play 'Smack My Bitch Up' or 'Funky Shit' though), but after I started noticing their live shows when 'Invaders Must Die' came out and they played just about every festival in Britain, I took note of Rob. He's a big lad, not someone you'd square up to that's for sure, and this adds to the menacing demeanour that The Prodigy give off. He adds a lot to the live performances of the band, as does the drummer Leo Crabtree, as they both display plenty of energy and really let loose.

Taking that into account, it is clear that Rob has a ball onstage. He has permission to go bonkers and fuck shit up, and what better music to do it to than The Prodigy. From my point of view too, playing guitar to The Prodigy is not at all difficult, meaning it's easier to hit notes when you're knee-sliding and jumping off podiums. What makes the job especially unique though is that he is not instantly recognisable. If people passed him on the street, would they know him? No, hardly anyone would. They'd notice the distinctive Keith Flint, but not Rob. The same thing applies to a lot of backing musicians, but Rob feels like such an integral part of what a live show should be about that his importance is very profound. He's famous, but nobody really knows him, apart from those who have been influenced by him, like me. His private life is hardly a topic for magazines and fanzines etc. etc. but he still gets paid like a MUTHA. Playing guitar for The Prodigy is a big deal, and the live shows makes up his income (he's not in the band, he's a live musician with the drummer).

What I'd like to know is, what job entitles you to from one minute rock out a guitar to 60,000 people when headlining a festival, to becoming unrecognisable and a mere mortal the moment you walk offstage? One thing we also cannot deny is that this man knows how to have fun. Watch the clip below of 'Run With The Wolves' at Milton Keynes Bowl and see for yourself; it is my dream someday to be in his shoes. What I would give to be able to play 'Their Law' and 'Smack My Bitch Up' to a field of violent fans.

Catchy catchy slowly monkey

"Papz see me up in the vicinity and flash me, I'm the definition of definitive and catchy"

Tinie Tempah

Tell me though, what makes a song catchy? Guitar solos do it for you? Keyboard riffs? Chords? Or even vocals? For me, it is all of them, but when I think of catchy, I put great emphasis on the chords used in songs, and depending on the sequence the chords are used in, it will present itself in a distinctive key. Catchy songs don't necessarily have to be happy tunes that people can bust their best moves to; they can be catchy that they send a shiver down your spine as if the song is massaging you - a digital massage if you will...
Agree with these upcoming choices?

Gary Jules - Mad World

This Tears For Fears cover was used in the cult film Donnie Darko, and gained the UK Christmas No.1 spot in 2003. It is a soft piano cover that is easily one of the most emotional pieces of popular music ever recorded. Set in the key of C Minor with a chord progression of Fm-Ab-Eb-Bb, it doesn't change much throughout the song, but the use of many flat chords makes this song so catchy for me; they're the sort of chords I can listen to all day long. Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that the same chord progression is used in the verses for 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day, which a lot of you will remember was my favourite song for a while. I also love listening to the chorus when the vocoder kicks in on Jules' voice; it's moving to say the least, and in a way, catchy.

Biffy Clyro - Mountains

Choosing this song is based around the chords used once more; most of them are flat. The guitars are detuned to make it easier for the Scottish power-trio to control. The key part for me in this song is the post-chorus part that kicks in precisely one minute in (Ab5-Bb5-F#5-Db5), and especially the second time around when there is an addition of a piano melody to compliment the raw sound being produced. This is Biffy's anthem and no wonder. It's not quite them at their most creative, but it's still identifiable enough to be Biffy Clyro. Mon the Biffy!

Coldplay - In My Place

Throughout my teens, this was one song that I would hear the guitar over and over again in my head but would never remember the name of the song. It finally came to me on the way to a night up town (yeeeeeah) and I was listening to Coldplay play live at Glastonbury 2011 on Radio 1, and then this gem appeared three songs in. After hearing Chris Martin's whispered words of "In my place, in my place, were lines that I couldn't change", I knew I'd found the song. After a decent night up town (yeeeeeah) I proceeded to go on my laptop the next day, YouTube this and listen to it pretty much all day. I shit you not, I must've played it about 20 times on guitar for the rest of the day. I just couldn't keep my ears off the guitar riff, a simple E octave in the key of A Major that also implements a B and a C#. This song will always remind me of the best summer ever: 2011.

Smashing Pumpkins - 1979

Another chance for me to blag about why 90's bands were better than a lot of bands of the Noughties. Take an alternative rock band from America, and give the band permission to use a sampler and you get this. A loop of "ooh", although it's not very distinguishable, is an ever-present throughout the song, and adds to its many licks and gives it an extra attractive quality; the key of Eb Major helps too, leaving a disposal of D, Eb and Bb octaves to be used. Again, the use of chords grabs me, and whilst it took some getting used to, I have now begun to adore it as one of my all time favourites.

Mindthings - Elle

French musician Clement Peres composes atmospheric instrumental music and allows all you lovely people to download his album 'Resonance' free of charge. Sweeping bluesy guitars accompany an Fm-C#-G# chord progression to create an unearthed diamond - it is relaxing as it is catchy. His entire album is made up of similar numbers that create a calm atmosphere to clear the mind and appreciate what is around you. Listen to 'The Colours of Happiness' and 'Artificial World' too - you'll be better off for it.

To summarise, give a guitarist a capo and make him attach it to the first fret, or make him tune it down a semitone, or ask your pianist to use only sharp/flat notes and you have yourself a catchy song in my book (that's just me though - you may or may not concur). This doesn't guarantee success though (having said that, all the songs mentioned have been very successful singles). Yes I love songs with memorable riffs such as MGMT's 'Kids', anything off Deadmau5's 'Random Album Title' or anything that Two Door Cinema Club do, and damn are they catchy, but here are offerings that I consider to be catchy; they are catchy because they keep me wanting more. I couldn't stop listening to all four of these songs when I first heard them, as they'd hooked me in - you might say that I was the catch they caught with their catchiness.

Upcoming gigs

Studying in a coastal Welsh town with train links only to Birmingham doesn't give me much scope for going to gigs when at university, unless I can find the time to travel and the money, but over the summer and later in the year I am happy to go say that I will be attending some concerts.

They all, bar one for clear reasons, happen to be at the same place: Wolverhampton Civic Hall. A fantastic venue in my home town that many acts have confessed their love for, notably McFly, who claim it is their absolute favourite venue to play because "the crowd are so loud, they go nuts", but the hall is also noted for the rumours that there is apparently oil placed beneath the floor of the main room to make it easier for attendants to bounce. On stage, this must ensure a wonderful spectacle, and with brilliant acoustics and facilities, who can argue?

Stewart Francis

1st June - Wolverhampton Civic Hall

Now I know it's not music but bear with me! As soon as my exams finish I am heading home to my loving family. The first thing me and my Dad are going to do? Go and watch Stewart Francis. A notorious one-liner with a droll onstage demeanour that makes Fonzie seem uncool, his delivery is perfection. You may have seen him on Mock the Week, Live at the Apollo and Michael Mcintyre's Comedy Roadshow, and if you haven't, please go ahead and YouTube him. A man who, like the great Colin Mochrie, pokes fun at his Canadianism, is a hot ticket right now and is currently in the middle of his UK tour. Having seen many hilarious comedy shows in my time from the likes of Stephen K Amos, Jimmy Carr, Reginald D Hunter, Milton Jones, and of course, the great Frankie Boyle, Mr Francis certainly has a lot to live up to. I just hope it's not a case of 'My Dad took me to see Stewart Francis and I remember swimming back to shore thinking...'

Blur (TBC)

5/6th August - Wolverhampton Civic Hall

Welcoming back the Britpop Daddys is going to be one hell of a night, provided I acquire a ticket considering they go on sale on Friday, hence the TBC. Having seen Blur at the Civic Hall back in 2009, I am excited to be able to relive that night. I sat on the balcony on the right hand side very near the stage, and I don't usually like to sit at gigs but it was fun to watch the crowd go completely ape. Wolverhampton are lucky to have Blur visit not once, but twice. This again crosses with the fact that Blur love the venue, and they must have a good time here back in 2009. Considered warm-up shows before their big gigs in Hyde Park, that very gig could be the last time we could see Blur live, so I'd consider it an honour if I got to go to this with my dear friends. Fingers crossed!

Leeds Festival

24th-26th August - Bramham Park, Leeds

Being something of a V Festival veteran, I decided this year to branch out a bit and try something else. So when V announced the lineup a couple of months ago, I was left a bit unimpressed. I've had some fantastic years there seeing some great shows but as a fan of rock music, I don't really get my fill at Weston Park. Along with a selection of my chums from home I shall be heading up to Bramham Park in Leeds for a five day binge whilst seeing the occasional band. Seriously though, I will see as many bands as I can, with the ones I'm looking forward to most being the mighty Foo Fighters. I last saw them at V Festival in 2007 and they were brilliant; it's been a long time coming, and I especially look forward to seeing the new material played live. A dilemma on the Saturday leaves me having to choose between The Cure and The Maccabees, but as with every time I go to a festival, it always ends up as a last minute decision. Sunday will be a fantastic send off to what should be a smashing weekend, with Kasabian holding a reputation as an energetic live band. Like with Foo Fighters, I last saw them at V Festival 2007 (passing up the opportunity to see them headline the 2010 festival in favour of The Prodigy), meaning I have yet to see their last two records performed live, and I anticipate an incredible finale. I will also be checking out Pulled Apart By Horses, The Gaslight Anthem, Bullet For My Valentine (for old times sake), The Black Keys (sadly missing Two Door Cinema Club in favour of watching The Black Keys and getting a good space for Foo Fighters), Foster The People, Enter Shikari, and Gallows. This has potential to be one damn fine weekend of music.

Lostprophets

1st November - Wolverhampton Civic Hall

A visit to Wolverhampton once again to see the Welsh metal-pop-emo hybrid known as Lostprophets. Coinciding with my brothers 18th birthday two days later, this is a fantastic excuse to come home and spend some time with him, however he is not going to this gig. I will be attending with my cohorts James and Daniel for my fifth time seeing this band (twice at V, three at Civic). Guaranteed carnage awaits when the anthems of old come out in force. 'Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja' guarantees nobody remains untouched in the crowd and by the end of that song the people at the back will have swapped places with the people on the barrier. This is the third time in four years that Lostprophets have played this venue, so something tells me they enjoy the lovely people of Wolverhampton.

Feeder

21st November - Wolverhampton Civic Hall

Twenty days after the Lostprophets gig I am back in Wolverhampton once more, this time to see one of the most underrated British bands of all time with Mr Potts: Feeder. Having had the pleasure of seeing them in the Wulfrun Hall back in October 2010, it will be a mass sing-along from the off. Last time for me it was a shame though as a week prior to the gig, I tore my ankle ligaments playing football and was on crutches for a while, hindering my attempts at bouncing throughout the show, even during 'Buck Rogers'. I did however manage to get my crutches in the air when 'Feeling a Moment' was played; whether the band noticed or not I have no idea. I did have the pleasure of meeting the band after the gig though after a while of waiting in the cold with some obsessed fans who had seen them about 20 times; this was my second Feeder show after seeing them at V two months prior. They were true gentlemen and apologised for keeping us waiting with offerings of cans of Guinness, Coca-Cola and even a bag of sweets. Singer/axeman Grant Nicholas knows how to write a tune, and is also a big influence on my guitar style, and when I told him this he genuinely seemed flattered, and our friendly handshake turned into a half-hug; for a man who must get a lot of compliments thrown his way, it was a nice moment to see his face light up when I praised him. God I'm a suck up...

Yes I was wearing a Muse shirt under the cardigan. WOT OF IT?!

Pickering's theory of evolution

Most people throughout life grow up, and with that comes a more sophisticated human. People change their hobbies, their habits and their friends. Influences come from all sorts of different directions: other people close to them, idols, television and other forms of media etc. This is the case with artists too, and like with people, there are some out there who will not like the change. This demonstrates how precious time can be with bands; savour their music because you never know what kind of malfunctioning clap-trap will come bursting out of them next.

As bands change, the fanbase changes. To all the hipsters out there who when they go and see a newish band at a small club, don't get upset when they upgrade to a bigger venue because they released a catchy song to hump the Top 40, and as a result more posers are turning up. It happens, it's the equivalent of musical prostitution or a one-night stand, and they may live to regret that.

Arctic Monkeys

Everybody's favourite British indie monsters Arctic Monkeys rapidly blew us all away with a suckerpunch of a first album. 'Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not' was the dream debut for the Sheffield quartet, culminating in two No.1 singles ('I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor' and 'When The Sun Goes Down') and scooping the Mercury Music Prize in 2006. The genre of the album was essentially British indie rock for the youth, with subject matter relying on topics that would strike a chord with young people e.g. lost love and funnily enough, prostitutes. I must admit, this writer was a little wary of how quickly everyone took to the band, and in my phase of extreme musical snobbery (when I believed that Green Day were still the best thing in the world), I initially dismissed them as "alright, but a bit overhyped for what they are" (I gather some of you will be choking on your chicken after noticing the incredible irony of that statement). Anyway, I didn't think they would last too long, but Alex Turner's enthusiasm to churn out as many albums as quickly as possible has fuelled their long term fame, and after releasing fourth album 'Suck It and See' in 2011, they have turned up the fuzz on the guitars and Alex Turner comes off as a very sexy Northerner. In 2006 they sounded close to bands like The Strokes, whereas now with the fourth album it's closer to the garage stoner-rock of Queens of the Stone Age, probably due to their new found friendship with Josh Homme of said band. Personally, I am a fan of this particular evolution.

Notice the evolution:

Mardy Bum (2006) vs Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair (2011)

Biffy Clyro

Proud Scots Biffy Clyro are a driving force for angular rock music, or at least they used to be; nowadays they have replaced 'angular' with a more familiar word such as 'generic', but the strange aura is still there in small doses. My previous statement doesn't mean that they have turned bad though, as I still maintain that 'Only Revolutions' is my favourite album of all time. Debut 'Blackened Sky' was released in 2002 and proved that even after the death of Nirvana eight years prior to it, there was still hope for loud three-pieces who played proper rock music. '57' featured awkward time signatures with a drumbeat that air drummers would feel funny drumming to, and like '57', 'Joy.Discovery.Invention' demonstrated the vocal powers of all three members. Throughout the albums leading up to 2006's 'Puzzle' ('The Vertigo Of Bliss' and 'Infinity Land'), the band stuck with the formula of making raucous noise, but songs managed to get weirder and weirder, with new instruments being introduced and strange song titles. A good example of this is the song 'There's No Such Thing As A Jaggy Snake' from 2004's 'Infinity Land' (if your favourite Biffy song is 'Many of Horror', I dare you to listen to this). A song that has everything: quiet dual-vocals, incomprehensible screaming and crushing rhythms that if it were a punch, it would take your head right off. In the aftermath of 'Puzzle' and 'Only Revolutions', Biffy alienated the odd few fans who yearned for their explosive heaviness, but they gained much wider recognition by including some catchier numbers such as 'A Whole Child Ago' and 'Many of Horror'. Not to say they still aren't heavy, as songs like 'Cloud of Stink' and the mathematics that is 'That Golden Rule' should testify.

Notice the evolution:

Eradicate The Doubt (2003) vs Mountains (2008)

Muse

With musical transitions so abstract and clear that Madonna refused to release their second album in the United States, Muse are a perfect example of musical evolution. Beginning life as the accused spawn of Radiohead, the band chalked up a few enemies (or as Matt Bellamy called them: "lazy journalists") as youngsters for making hints that they were the second coming of the Oxford quintet. With a falsetto vocalist and indie riffs it was easy to make such a comparison, but the band didn't let this compromise their progress. They toured, toured and toured for their lives, which has now helped cement their place as the best live band in the world. With the mix of melodic piano and dirty guitars on debut 'Showbiz' from 1999, they set a precedent. This album would later go on to inspire Chris Martin to get Coldplay on their way to making second album 'A Rush of Blood To The Head'. As 'Origin of Symmetry' and 'Absolution' came whizzing around the corner in 2001 and 2003 respectively, new sounds had been absorbed from the ionosphere. Heavy organs on 'Space Dementia', American metal influences on 'The Small Print' and piano crescendos on 'Apocalypse Please' were all testament to Bellamy's views on modern politics and religion, which planted the seeds of evolution in Muse. As not seen on the first album though, 'Origin of Symmetry' and 'Absolution' both paved the way for Muse to release their Rage... their Rage Against The Machine that is. With RATM guitarist Tom Morello being a massive influence on Bellamy, the guitars were detuned and the riffs were seismic (see 'New Born', 'Micro Cuts', 'Dead Star' and 'Hyper Music' for what I mean). 2006 brought about 'Black Holes & Revelations', a Mercury-nominated album influenced by many things including Morricone and New York club music, that took apart the modern world and shoved spaghetti western in there for the hell of it. You would never hear songs as bonkers and amazing as 'Knights Of Cydonia' and 'Map Of The Problematique' on 'Showbiz'. Finally in 2009 when 'The Resistance' came out, Muse had reached a new level of maturity. They still had the dance-groove that they carried over from 'Black Holes & Revelations', but one word sprang to mind on some songs: grandiose. 'United States of Eurasia' is a destructive fist-pumper of a piano anthem, and has Queen written all over it, and finally, the 'Exogenesis' three-part symphony composed by Bellamy himself. 90's kids probably never envisioned that the three-piece who coined 'Plug In Baby' would go on to compose a 13 minute symphony, yet still be distinctive enough to sound like Muse. As for my view, I pretty much love every song they do, but I have my favourites, and they are usually the ones with heavy guitars.

Notice the evolution:

Sunburn (1999) vs Bliss (2001) vs United States of Eurasia (2009)

Radiohead

Listening to Radiohead initially inspired me to write this article because they are basically the kingpins of change. Formed in Oxford in 1985, but not finding fame until the release of hit single 'Creep' in 1993, the debut effort 'Pablo Honey' failed to cause much of a stir. Taking a Brit-rock grunge style and singing about teen angst was their forte, but it did nothing to exactly set the world alight. It was clear that a change in direction was needed. Next came 'The Bends' in 1995, which is my personal favourite Radiohead album. Still keeping their triple guitar line-up meant they were still rocking out, but it was more Jeff Buckley than Pixies. The album was a much bigger success than 'Pablo Honey' and would go on to achieve triple platinum status in the UK and is consistently ranked among the greatest albums in the world, along with follow-up album 'OK Computer', released in 1997. Both albums delivered a message that Radiohead were the saviours of rock, and following those albums, fans and critics anticipated something even better, bigger and bolder. Boy were they in for a shock when 'Kid A' (2000) and 'Amnesiac' (2001) were brought into the world. With singer Thom Yorke becoming increasingly frustrated with the musical direction of the band and battling his own depression, he decided to do things his way and convinced the band to take on a more electronic and unconventional approach, being under the influence of the music he was currently listening to. They were still classed as a rock band, but it was about to become so underground and alternative that it was closer to electronica and jazz. Following up an album with epics like 'Paranoid Android' (known as the 90's Bohemian Rhapsody) and 'Lucky' was never going to be easy, but it was a shock to the system when snippets of the albums were released, and tracks such as 'Idioteque' and 'Everything In Its Right Place' were seen as the answer to what the fans cried out for. Naturally this alienated a lot of the fans who had come to love Radiohead as the depressing rockers they once were, but they grew; they evolved. Nevertheless the album was a huge success and hit No.1 in the USA, which basically turned them into royalty across the pond. 'Hail To The Thief' (2003) saw a return to form for the band with a number of rock songs, but 'In Rainbows' (2007) and 'The King of Limbs' (2011) once again showed just how far the experimental quintet could take the rock genre. The evolution of this band in particular has been an interesting one, but I was only 2 years old when 'The Bends' was released, and I do wish I could've been old enough to pick up the CD brand new in 1995 and see them play the setlist live. Sadly with such a vast back catalogue I think I will have to keep on dreaming about seeing any of the songs off the album being played live.

Notice the evolution:

Black Star (1995) vs Paranoid Android (1997) vs Everything In Its Right Place (2000) vs Nude (2007)

FIFA's greatest song choices

The FIFA franchise has given the males (and to avoid sexism, some of the females) of Britain so much to laugh and cry about, encouraging competition and banter between the many participants. Along with this game there have been many different cultural aspects of life added to it, most recently the 'FIFA apology rules', where the loser of a game shall somewhat gracefully apologise to their superiors for being such a disgrace to the beautiful game. However, over the years it has become notoriously well known for having a diverse soundtrack on each instalment. I'm here to pick apart each of the games to decipher what I feel are the most defining songs of the series. I'll put them in no particular order...

1) Moby - Bodyrock

From: FIFA 2001

I believe I'm right in saying that FIFA 2001 was the first FIFA game that I owned. I remember the countless hours I spent in hysterics fouling the opposition goalkeeper and getting a straight red card for it, no matter how good or bad the challenge was, and listening to the hilarious comments from John Motson and Mark Lawrenson. It's as if the goalkeeper was akin to the Dalai Lama. I think after scoring so many own goals on purpose to constantly hear what gem Motson and Lawro would come up with next eventually led to the games inability to function. Anyway, I'm rambling...
This was the song I first remember when I think of that game. It's lyrics are easy to remember, and it's beats are funky as hell, so who could not remember this? It also introduced the game in the opening credits. Moby has produced some fine gems such as 'Lift Me Up' and 'Porcelain', but for nostalgic reasons this ranks above them in my personal list.

2) Gorillaz - 19-2000 (Soulchild remix)

From: FIFA 2002

Now I'm not normally one for remixes, but when Soulchild remixed the hit song '19-2000' back in 2001, it proved to be more popular than the original. I prefer it because it's more upbeat and definitely more catchy, as opposed to the sluggish snail-race of the original. It managed to staple itself as a FIFA classic when it introduced the 2002 instalment over a montage of players displaying a vast array of tekkers. Whenever I still listen to this song I can't help but think of a badly animated figure doing rainbow flicks over their rivals, and I love it!

3) Caesars - Jerk It Out

From: FIFA 2004

To kick things off (excuse the pun), but this is not a song about masturbation. Well, we're told so.

This song was released as a single back in 2003 but failed to make any significant impact on the charts, peaking at no.60, but a re-release in 2005 prompted a climb up to no.8, most likely down to the impact this song had made on impressionable buyers of FIFA 2004. Show this to most young adult males and chances are they will recognise it from FIFA. Caesars couldn't live up to the quality of this tune, and correct me if I'm wrong but I now assume that they're nowhere to be found, having not released a single since 2008? Or are they just not allowed to leave Sweden anymore since they became their most valuable asset ahead of Zlatan Ibrahimovic and the surviving members of Abba?

4) Dandy Warhols - We Used To Be Friends

From: FIFA 2004

Those yankies The Dandy Warhols have sure given us some catchy "aaahh's" de temps en temps. Here is one of the main examples. It is probably more well known as the Veronica Mars opening theme, but when released, it failed to peak in the US charts. However, Britain warmed to it and six months after it charted at no.18 in the national charts, it was added to the FIFA 2004 soundtrack. I wish they could go back to the quality of this and Bohemian Like You, two absolute classics from America over the noughties, although I will say that their songs had a very British feel to them, which was enjoyable and probably why it was so popular here.

5)  Stone Roses - Fools Gold

From: FIFA 2004

Hate on me all you want but FIFA 2004 was the first chance I got to hear this song (I was born in 1993 dammit!). I do like Ian Brown's vocals in this, as there is no way he could've pulled this off had he been hitting a high C above D. The moodiness of his vocals only make this song better, along with it's iconic bassline, shuffling snare drum and wah-wah-pedal-mad guitar. As with the Gorillaz song, hearing this nowadays still takes me back to the young days of playing as England and handing out some ass whoopin'.

6) Kasabian - L.S.F.
From: FIFA 2004

Kasabian broke through into a stage of recognition after the release of their self-titled debut album in 2004. Since then they have yet to disappoint with any of their 4 releases, with each album building yet more on their tower of festival anthems. L.S.F. (Lost Souls Forever) was included on the FIFA 2004 soundtrack and whilst it is a successful song in it's own right (named by NME Magazine as no.37 of the 50 Greatest Indie Anthems Ever), it has forever been a popular choice by EA Sports and has been identified as one of FIFA's many anthems. I also can't wait until they play this at Leeds Festival, where I shall be soaking up the sweat of the crowd and singing my heart out.

7) The Doves - Black and White Town
From: FIFA 2006

This single from February 2005 is one of The Doves most successful singles, if not the most. Therefore, unlike some of the inclusions here, it's success is not down to it's release on FIFA. Noted for it's heavy piano and atmospheric feel, a staple of The Doves, the band have enjoyed a lengthy success off of many songs like 'Black and White Town'. A popular inclusion in the game, it was sadly mis-credited by EA as 'Stars of CCTV' by Hard-Fi; make what you will of that but they are two completely different songs. Maybe 'Black and White Town' was EA's backup choice that they put in by accident?

8) Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You
From: FIFA 2009

Indie pop adults Black Kids re-released this song a year after it came out in 2007 from the band's demo. All bi-curiosity aside ("You are the girl, that I've been dreaming of, ever since I was a little girl"), it is a friendly fun-loving hit that suited FIFA perfectly. However, the song that ended up on FIFA was a remix from The Twelves, but they sounded equally as good. Listening to this always reminds me of playing with Wolves on Career Mode and metaphorically telling Man Utd "get out of the way, here I come".

9) Passion Pit - Moth's Wings
From: FIFA 10

This song didn't make me think about FIFA at all. I thought it belonged on some game like any of the Spyro series (had there been any soundtracks to Spyro games) due to it's spine-tingling piano. It just didn't feel right at first, but I gradually warmed to it and lo and behold it has ended up on this list. When I listen to this I can't help but think of opening my first pack on Ultimate Team and remembering my only decent card was Juanfran (gold)... I miss having the Xbox around.

10) The Enemy - Be Somebody
From: FIFA 10

The Enemy were set for greatness, and even they themselves knew it, once proclaiming that they "are here to save British rock". To be fair, whilst I don't agree with that statement completely considering the amount of decent British rock bands there are at the moment, everything about The Enemy is quintessentially British, and it should be embraced. They are a Coventry version of Oasis (less style and not as many anthems), but give them time and they can be Manchester standard. Take this song for instance, a proper Brit-rock number that Gallagher would've been happy with had he penned it. It is a football anthem for the masses, having appeared on FIFA 10 and now is the theme for ITV's coverage of the FA Cup. A good live band too, so go and see them.