Review: Muse - Survival

My God I have been waiting for a new song for too long, so I have felt compelled to review this bitch.

Where do I start? Oh yeah, the piano introduction of course, and no, I don't mean 'Prelude', as that is a different track. I mean, oh please! Anyway, I'm told it wasn't just me that thought it was originally Scissor Sisters breaking into 'Laura'? Well, yeah, it seems very similar. This does not amuse me (pun overused, yet intended). To be fair, it contributes greatly to the fact that 'Survival' is about as camp as a row of tents. But then... one and a half minutes in, oh sweet giblets. There are some guitar techniques and detuned riffage similar to what made me fall in love with Muse in the first place. The song has definitely picked up and revived my faith in the band. 

However, to say this song is viciously dry-humping Queen would be to say the words of truth. I'm a Queen fan, but Muse are not Queen, they're Muse (funnily enough!), and 'Origin of Symmetry' and 'Absolution' didn't need to sound like Queen to be good. They were diverse but not overblown, and were stationed within acceptable levels of over-the-top-ness. Comparisons with Queen continue as the operatic choir vocals carry their soprano tones throughout the second verse. A bass-heavy verse climaxes in a fucking maniacal Rage Against The Machine riff-fest. I am literally drooling at this point - I have not wanted to headbang and/or fistpump this much since I heard the ending to 'Stockholm Syndrome'. Using a low G# string on the guitar has given this song beef not seen since 'Citizen Erased', which it definitely needed. If the guitar sections weren't in this song then I'd probably be more nervous of the reaction this song would get as the London 2012 Olympic Anthem. 

Guitar orgasms aside though, these lyrics are atrocious. I mean it, they're shite. Bellamy, who is a talented songwriter and lyricist, I expected to do better. Did he give a piece of paper to his baby boy and let him write it? "Life's race, I'm gonna win, I'll light the fuse, I'll never lose" - come on Bellamy, buck up your ideas man! That is dire. Guess what though? I DON'T CARE. His lyrics hardly make any sense anyway, so why should I care this time? Not going to deny that he has cocked up there though, so I hold more hope for some improvements in time for new album 'The 2nd Law'.

From what I've heard from the previews, it's going to be a controversial album. 'Survival' and a preview of 'Unsustainable' have surfaced over recent times, with the latter giving an insight into a new era of Muse-dubstep; Musestep if you will. Even for dubstep it sounds ok, but it's only a preview and I will reserve full judgement when the album is out in September. And as for the fans who are haters of this song, they're too narrow-minded and selfish to see that the band are no longer stuck in 'Origin of Symmetry' or 'Absolution', and even though I do cry out for some heavy rock from Muse, I accept what they currently are, which many others don't. As for now, enjoy the two links below (first minute of the first link is 'Prelude'), and enjoy having 'Survival' shoved in your faces and down your eardrums throughout London 2012.

Rating: 7/10

Best part: Nearly 3 minutes in: "I'm gonna wiiiiiiiiiin" followed by big fuck off pwoper beefy riff

The best job in the world?

Fuck that Australian tropical island caretaker (labelled as 'best job in the world'). As good as that job sounds, I might have an idea of what knocks it off it's throne.

Any idea who this man is?

No?

Don't blame you really.

This man goes by the name of Rob Holliday, and he plays guitar for dance-rock juggernauts The Prodigy. My friends, I believe this man is lucky enough to have the greatest job in the world right now, and let me tell you why.

The Prodigy were named not long ago as 'the greatest dance act of all time' by Mixmag, a famous dance music publication, pipping the likes of Daft Punk, Fatboy Slim and Aphex Twin to the top spot. They consistently sell their albums into the millions and based on the strength of their loyal fanbase have managed to keep selling out every venue they play. That and they are easily one of the best live acts in the world - if you haven't seen them live, you are seriously missing out. If you didn't enjoy it then you have my permission to slap me.

Holliday has played guitar for the band over two periods of time, whilst he has been juggling with stints playing guitar for Gary Numan, Marilyn Manson and his own band Sulpher. His full focus now is on The Prodigy, since a new album will be out in no time and the band will end up on some sort of everlasting world tour. Now, I've been a big fan of The Prodigy ever since my Dad blasted 'Fat Of The Land' through his car at any given opportunity to try and sway me at the age of 10 (he didn't play 'Smack My Bitch Up' or 'Funky Shit' though), but after I started noticing their live shows when 'Invaders Must Die' came out and they played just about every festival in Britain, I took note of Rob. He's a big lad, not someone you'd square up to that's for sure, and this adds to the menacing demeanour that The Prodigy give off. He adds a lot to the live performances of the band, as does the drummer Leo Crabtree, as they both display plenty of energy and really let loose.

Taking that into account, it is clear that Rob has a ball onstage. He has permission to go bonkers and fuck shit up, and what better music to do it to than The Prodigy. From my point of view too, playing guitar to The Prodigy is not at all difficult, meaning it's easier to hit notes when you're knee-sliding and jumping off podiums. What makes the job especially unique though is that he is not instantly recognisable. If people passed him on the street, would they know him? No, hardly anyone would. They'd notice the distinctive Keith Flint, but not Rob. The same thing applies to a lot of backing musicians, but Rob feels like such an integral part of what a live show should be about that his importance is very profound. He's famous, but nobody really knows him, apart from those who have been influenced by him, like me. His private life is hardly a topic for magazines and fanzines etc. etc. but he still gets paid like a MUTHA. Playing guitar for The Prodigy is a big deal, and the live shows makes up his income (he's not in the band, he's a live musician with the drummer).

What I'd like to know is, what job entitles you to from one minute rock out a guitar to 60,000 people when headlining a festival, to becoming unrecognisable and a mere mortal the moment you walk offstage? One thing we also cannot deny is that this man knows how to have fun. Watch the clip below of 'Run With The Wolves' at Milton Keynes Bowl and see for yourself; it is my dream someday to be in his shoes. What I would give to be able to play 'Their Law' and 'Smack My Bitch Up' to a field of violent fans.