2012: the year was better than the film

I've had some great years in my lifetime, but this topples them all... I think. Let me quickly run through why, through the medium of awards.

Sports

This category accounts not just for the obvious, but for my personal sporting life. At University, it was my humble duty to report for footballing services in the DIGS league. Having being snapped up by newcomers Aberzaijan, the 3rd years took me under their wings and along with my fellow freshers and some 2nd years, I've had a blast on and off the pitch, scoring on both turfs (WHEYO). Onto the serious stuff, London 2012. Sadly my ability to cover all of the Olympics was hindered by my summer job, but I was still able to catch many key moments, and with updates flying around the office, I was kept reasonably up to date. This year more than any has made me proud to be British, with the unity of the country coming together through smiles and cheers, and the Team GB athletes of the Olympic and Paralympic games could not have done us more proud. Another moment that meant a lot to me was Andy Murray winning the US Open, gaining him his first major trophy as a tennis player. Supporting him all the way from Salou for his Wimbledon final was special too, and it's a shame he didn't win that match with Federer. Unfortunately for my local football club Wolverhampton Wanderers it has been a dire year, absolutely dreadful. As if being relegated from the Premier League wasn't bad enough, if we don't pull ourselves together it could happen again in the Championship, but that is the pessimist in me, we'll be fine. Along with the rollercoaster ride of Euro 2012 for England, football has been near the bottom and at the very top of my list of moments of 2012.

Moment of the year: This award goes to Sergio Aguero for his goal on May 13th, in the 95th minute, and the Etihad Stadium erupts like Vesuvius, and Manchester City, a team I don't even support, win the Premier League title. That whole game was just... absolutely incredible. If the last day of the 2013 season is even half as dramatic as the one this year, then I think most of us will be happy. Watch that special moment again here.

Music

While the first half of 2012 was relatively quiet for me following music, the second half of the year was certainly eventful, with gigs and albums aplenty. Whilst the summer had me tracking the progress of Muse's upcoming album 'The 2nd Law', and autumn had me basking in it's glory along with a gig from said band, plus gigs from Lostprophets (...a moment of silence for them) and Feeder. With my obvious joy at a new release from my favourite band, their gig at the LG Arena lived up to the hype, and was easily one of the best gigs I've seen from them. Next year I can look forward to seeing them again, this time at the Etihad Stadium in Manchester straight after my exams. Albums from Pulled Apart By Horses and Green Day also particularly caught my attention, with albums from Biffy Clyro, Queens of the Stone Age and The Prodigy to look forward to in the upcoming 2013.

Moment of the year: This award goes to Leeds Festival and the people I shared one of the best weekends ever with, and they are as follows:

- Oliver Butler

- Danny Curtis

- Jack Griffin

- Reece Jacques

- Luke Nicholson

- James Potts

Shout outs also go to the following bands for putting on stellar performances and making that weekend ten times better than V Festival could possibly have been this year:

- Foo Fighters

- Kasabian

- Pulled Apart By Horses

- Enter Shikari

- Foster The People

- The Hives

- Twin Atlantic

- The Black Keys

University

Only being able to include the second and third semesters of my life as a Fresher, plus my first semester as a Sophomore, I think I can still safely say that my decision to come to Aberystwyth University has been a fruitful one. Adapting to life was not difficult at all, with a friendly community and a GODDAMN BEACH being part of the Aberystwyth service, it's no wonder it is regarded highly as a University not just for research and teaching, but crucially for experience. Living in the student village on campus as a Fresher allowed me to make friends quickly, with all of my housemates in PJM sharing different interests with me, and still to this day, House 39 rules. Spending drunken nights out at the Union became a formality, and when I was mature enough to realise that the Union had run its course, I moved onto the big leagues: town, and the delights of Yokos and Pier Pressure, partying regularly with my housemates, The Biz and Aberzaijan. Moving into 2nd year, and life got even better, living in town and hanging out with the Biology Society I have made some great friends that I will be sad to see go when we all eventually move on from Aberystwyth and we are no longer just a stones throw away from each other. As much as I love coming home every now and then, as I type this right now I do miss University and all it has to offer, and the following semesters are ones I look forward to very much.

Moment of the year: This award goes to House 39 for providing countless moments of hilarity, so I guess the award is 'Moments of the year' you pedantic reader.

Shout outs also go to:

- Cwrt Mawr Bar for hosting many fun days out, including the intense Six Nations match between Wales and England, which provided a whirlwind of emotions and strong signs of togetherness

- Yokos for being worse than Mainers

- Penglais Hill for giving me a challenge

- Bierkeller for being the best thing the Union will ever do

- Whoever invented pub golf

THAT JUST ABOUT BRIEFLY SUMS UP WHAT HAS BEEN ONE OF THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE, SO TO EVERYONE WHO TOOK THE TIME TO READ THIS BLOG THROUGHOUT THE YEAR, I THANK YOU.

HERE'S TO 2013!

Dubstep

"You can't put a man in a room with no sub woofers" - Mala

Dubstep: starts clean like a spotless virgin and finishes like a filthy sixty year old whore on a muddy street. In popular music, it's the sort of dirt that sticks and isn't very noticeable at first, but then it develops on the skin and leaves a mouldy scab.

I'll just cut to the chase. I will admit that in the past I have often maligned dubstep and it's ever growing culture and following. In my days of musical snobbery it was impossible for anything to be good in my opinion unless it came out of a classic instrument and not computer software, but I have definitely realised the error of my ways. Having said that, some of my favourite acts have based their sound on mostly electronic music, such as The Prodigy and Enter Shikari, so I have still found time for it. The problem I initially had with the popular breakthrough of dubstep was that I felt a lot of the music was incredibly repetitive. The same drumbeat is used in every single song, but that's just how the tempo of dubstep works, and I guess that works for some people. It definitely got me dancing, which is what it set out to do, but at other times I just felt like cringing at the other sounds coming from the speakers. Take the synths, most of which sounded like 8-bit Super Mario - that really didn't interest me.

As for writing the music, it is a whole other ball game. When I'm playing guitar, I will change the songs I play depending on my mood. If I'm a happy bunny, I'll gladly play along to Green Day or Blink-182, if I'm sad I can relate more to the music of Radiohead and solemnly strum along to 'Street Spirit', or if I need to let out some angry energy then I'll play along to Rage Against The Machine and break some guitar strings. When it comes to writing songs, the emotions of the writer will shine through on their voice or instruments. Chances are if a songwriter is sad, they will start a song with some minor chords and let out their emotions. With dubstep or other computer related instruments I don't see how emotion can be expressed through the computer software. I respect that it is simply not a matter of pushing a few buttons, it is a lot more complex than that, but I don't get a sense of how dubstep artists can hold personal feelings towards certain songs like other artists do. Well, I decided I needed another perspective, so I messaged a couple of people (whose identities I will conceal for the sake of their dignity) on Facebook who I know have a talent for writing mixes on their computer. I asked them if they felt that creating dubstep on a computer can convey emotions well. The answers I got certainly varied, from one saying that it is difficult to do it when most DJs use major chords and usually don't sing lyrics, therefore unable to convey any real feelings, and from another, I got the following:

"Let's say you're on a date and the lady is coming, you've been seeing her for a while and she's stonking. You want her babies, hard. So you want to cook the best thing you can think of with the best ingredients and the finest spices. It needs to taste the best as you want to impress the best. When you stick a mix together, the notion is somewhat the same. The recipe is the music you hand pick, test, love. The woman on the other hand is a mistress. It's the one thing you understand, and the one thing that understands you. You want to show how much you love it, by dressing it in class, style and emotion."

Hmm... interesting interpretation to say the least; sexy too.

Now that dubstep has made it's way onto the charts, it has hit the mainstream with a vicious blow. Twitter exploded on Saturday 10th November when X Factor contestant James Arthur dropped a chorus of dubstep in his version of 'Hometown Glory' by Adele. It was all the talk again, and being a fan of that song in general, I thought I should check out what James had done to it. When a clip surfaced online, I have to say I was mightily impressed. Not only was James a great singer, but the dubstep tinge on what is a moving piano anthem was a fantastic twist. Then the judges have their say...

Louis: "Blah blah blah you're the next big thing blah blah blah pick up the phones and give me money"

Tulisa: "I'm not sure if you've seen my festival shows but I love a bit of dubstep"

Aaaaaand there we go, the reputation of dubstep is ruined once again, when it is overused by a shitstorm like Tulisa.

I do like the genre, I'm a fan of artists who have utilised dubstep in many songs like Skrillex, Deadmau5, Nero and Chase & Status, but I am aware that the underground fanbase aren't too pleased with how mainstream it is becoming, and when it is used by artists like Tulisa, and even hints of it in the new Little Mix single 'DNA', those underground fans must want to jump off a bridge, because it is frankly starting to take the piss. Once Bieber drops a fat dubstep beat on his next album with Lil Wayne and Drake rapping alongside, I expect an angry mob of millions who are cleaning their carbines and dusting off their machetes, and I pray to Thor that the situation never arises.

Muse - The 2nd Law

Ok come on, you all knew that I had to have my say on this. 

The release of a new Muse record is required to split the opinions of music lovers around the world. In one corner we have the fans, which include the obsessive ERMAHGERD fanboys and girls, the new fans who heard 'Madness' on the radio and are of the opinion that Muse produce electropop instead of mind-blowing boundary-pushing rock music, and the old school fans who still adorn their 'Showbiz' posters in their bedroom and play 'Origin of Symmetry' on repeat, constantly moaning on the Muse Messageboard with whines like "this song sounds nothing like 'Hyper Music', 'Citizen Erased' or 'Bliss'. Impeach Bellamy!". And in the other corner we have the haters of the band who for a variety of reasons aren't rejoicing at the news, whether it's because Matt Bellamy's voice cuts right through them, the music is illegally too similar to the very artists it is influenced by, or maybe they think that Drake is a musical genius and they make fake accounts of One Direction and Olly Riley on Twitter.

Here I am about to go track by track on this bitch. Hold tight:

1. Supremacy - A cracking opener to the album. This is Muse at their finest, with metal riffs and a sweeping orchestra in the backdrop, it's a staple Muse sound, and wouldn't feel out of place on 'Absolution'. It's the song that James Bond would kick ass to and make love to a woman to at the same time. Compare this to the previous album opener 'Uprising' and it's a no-brainer; Supremacy and it's fancy schmancy moves will defeat it with aplomb. The best introduction to a Muse album since 'New Born'. 8/10

2. Madness - Seriously Muse, I know you like to do diversity, but why oh why did you release this as one of the singles? Giving a completely different and unfair perception of Muse from what people are used to, they suddenly strip naked and play about as minimal as they can get. Until over 3 minutes in that is when the song really picks up with it's electropop sound. Bellamy's vocals are stirringly beautiful and heartfelt, but a recurring problem which continues throughout the album is present: the plagiarism police discover that it sounds like 'I Want To Break Free' as soon as the guitar hits it's solo. Nonetheless, a good song but one of the weakest on the album. 6/10

3. Panic Station - What the funk? Step aside James Brown, here comes the hip-thrusting sexy Muse that we discovered when they released 'Supermassive Black Hole' 6 years ago. Yes the beat is a shoutout to 'Another One Bites The Dust', and the vocals scream of 'Thriller', but it is still distinctive enough to be Muse. The brass section really brightens up the sound, and the lead guitar compliments it nicely especially with the Hysteria-esque riff and melodic solo. When this is released as the next single, it will surely be played on indie club dancefloors everywhere. The product of a one night stand Alex Kapranos had with Freddie Mercury. 7/10

4. Prelude - Beautiful and brief instrumental introduction to 'Survival' that echoes of the 'Exogenesis' symphony. Leads nicely into the former, but doesn't really need rating.

5. Survival -  To say this song is viciously dry-humping Queen would be to say the words of truth, with elements of Brian May's solos and Freddie Mercury's vocals a constant throughout. Comparisons with Queen continue as the operatic choir vocals carry their soprano tones throughout the second verse. A bass-heavy verse climaxes in a maniacal Rage Against The Machine riff-fest. I am literally drooling at this point - I have not wanted to headbang and/or fistpump this much since I heard the ending to 'Stockholm Syndrome'. Guitar orgasms aside though, these lyrics are atrocious. I mean it, they're shite. Bellamy, who is a talented songwriter and lyricist, I expected to do better. Did he give a piece of paper to his baby boy and let him write it? Nonetheless, this is a fucking awesome song and when played live it is going to kick many asses, and since hearing it when it was released for the Olympics, it has grown on me like a beard. 8/10

6. Follow Me - Muse have heard of Nero! Nero's input on this track is as clear as a sky with no clouds. It surely stands out as a track you think Muse didn't write the music to, but with this they wrote it as a three-piece rock band, and asked Nero to re-record the music electronically. A song about Bellamy's fatherhood (even featuring the heartbeat of his baby boy at the beginning of the piece), it is an ode to responsibility for another human being, and counts as another genre poignantly touched by Muse. Definitely won't be skipping this, it's like epic electronica with a hint of 'Where The Streets Have No Name' at the climax. 8/10

7. Animals - My word... what a song. Hold on, is that a Fender I hear? By the beard of Darwin it is. This all shapes up perfectly in what is a throwback to Muse's early days, and shows us that they can still make three-piece music without the aid of backing musicians. A political offering inspired by fatcat Wall Street bankers, it sounds like 'Paranoid Android' initially, until the volume hits 11 and the riff at the end screams of their heroes Rage Against The Machine, in some way resembling the riff from Muse rarity 'Fury'. A perfect mix of light melody and girth. 9/10 

8. Explorers - Am I listening to 'The 2nd Law' or is this the soundtrack to the latest Disney musical? Certainly a genre not exactly touched by Muse in the past, it has a soothing musical tone as Bellamy takes to the piano for one of the only times on this album. It's the sort of song you'd ballroom dance to (Strictly Come Muse anyone?). Not to detract from the tender music, the lyrics deal with dying crops and abused nature, which have been inspired by Matt Bellamy's concerns of business monopolies and industrial greed. This is the lullaby of the album, backed up by the lyrics "Go to sleep" at the end whispered oh so gently. I was looking forward to hearing this song based on the song descriptions prior to release, but sadly I expected it to be a bit more epic, not to say that it still isn't a good song; more could have been done in 5:48. 7/10

9. Big Freeze - Or 'Big Cheese' depending on your opinion. There has been much internet speculation about this song being the follow up to 'Guiding Light', the cheesiest song Muse ever recorded, a subject that gets Muse fanatics all touchy. Described as "80's rock, a stadium stomper", the interpretations screamed of 'Guiding Light', but on the first few listens, it was stadium alright, because it was essentially U2 featuring Matt Bellamy on vocals. The guitar effects and rhythm section were surely influenced by the supreme musical overlords of Ireland, and that is about as cheesy as it got, depending on your definition of cheesy. Not a standout track, but it is a grower, especially the chorus and the trademark Bellamy solo which saved it from a gentle panning by this critic. 7/10

10. Save Me - For those of you who are not fans of Muse because Bellamy's humongous falsetto voice and irritating inhalation patterns cause you to cringe so hard the throbbing vein in your forehead pops, then maybe this is a song for you. Written and sung by often overlooked bassist Chris Wolstenholme about his dependency on alcohol and his loving family, he emulates his heroes The Beach Boys in some style. A song will always be performed better if it is sung from the heart, and this song could prove to be an emotional rollercoaster for Wolstenholme, with sweet lyrics and music to make grown men cry. This is essentially what I'd like to call an atmospheric ballad that keeps on building, but maybe is a minute too long, but hey, it's still nothing short of mesmerising. 7/10

11. Liquid State - Ah Muse, I always knew that Chris was the one who loved to rock out the most. The second and final song written and sung by Wolstenholme, this is easily the heaviest song on 'The 2nd Law'. It showcases the violent side of Chris' alcohol addiction, with the vocals sounding like a cross between Rob Swire from Pendulum and Dave Grohl, but with music as heavy as a tour bus. A crushing detuned riff from Bellamy gives way to pounding drums from Dominic Howard and a pulsating bassline from Wolstenholme, and when the chorus kicks in with the lyrics "Warm my heart tonight", the heavy music doesn't ask that, it demands it. This is one for the moshpit, Muse go metal, but maybe the minute that was too long on 'Save Me' could've been lent to this song instead. 8/10

12. The 2nd Law: Unsustainable - The song that made it onto the Internet as a preview for the new album, it certainly got people talking; "Muse have gone dubstep!" they said. It was a frightening prospect for fans who yearned for three-piece rock. A nervous wait for the album ensued, and while the band laughed off the reaction from fans moaning about the brostep direction, they talked about how this one song was influenced by Skrillex, and noted how this song was played on guitar, bass and drums but laden with effects from their pedals. Beginning with a doom-opera vibe and a news reporter noting about how resources are depleting at a rapid rate, and suddenly "an economy based on endless growth is [robot voice] UNSUSTAINABLE". Then it drops, and Muse deliver their take on modern dubstep. Followed by a majestic bridge with a tempo to headbang to, Bellamy delivers probably my favourite vocal performance on 'The 2nd Law' as he just wails and wails like he used to. It climaxes with another dubstep section, and listeners are left baffled. This is one song I cannot wait to see played live, simply because of the carnage it will cause. 7/10

13. The 2nd Law: Isolated System - An instrumental closing to the album which is laden with clips of news reporters and ending with a loop of the woman from the previous track saying "In an isolated system, the entropy can only increase". With Exorcist-esque piano and a trance beat that wouldn't sound out of place on Radiohead's 'Kid A', it is the perfect way to end such an album, and Muse always deliver on album closers. It's as emotional and atmospheric as Muse songs get, and would be a suitable soundtrack to the demise of a planet, or someone rising to heaven. I can expect this being the soundtrack to a BBC show at some point, maybe Doctor Who. When played live this would work well with visuals, and I look forward to seeing how that turns out. 8/10

And there you have it. If you read all the way to what you're reading right now, I applaud you. To conclude, this album will please many fans and discourage others like any other album, but with such a mix of genres there is something for everyone, from musical lovers to metalheads. My only burning issue with this album is how it flows. Tracks don't fit together next to each other, for example 'Unsustainable' could maybe have opened the album, although it would be difficult to replace a song as wonderful as 'Supremacy', and I wouldn't say 'Madness' fits well next to 'Supremacy'.
Overall, this album is definitely an improvement on last effort 'The Resistance' (a good album, but for Muse they could've done better), and I recommend you purchase it when it is released Monday 1st October. If you want to listen to a perfectly legal album stream, click here.

Rating: 7/10

Do They Collide - Barfly, London (08/09/2012)

Whilst spending a weekend down in London staying with my eldest cousin, there was always scope for me to take as much advantage as I could of the thriving music scene the capital has to offer. This I achieved through being offered a choice of gigs by said cousin, and my reply being something along the lines of "I'd love to visit the Barfly; I'm also up for seeing some new bands in a smaller venue" (which I seldom get the chance to do since all my favourite acts are pretty much stadium fillers). And this is where Do They Collide come in.

Arriving later than expected due to a delicious chilli that needed time to settle, we arrived at the Barfly having missed the first few support acts, having only a chance to catch the penultimate act and the headliners themselves. As sad a panda I was, the show must go on, so I begin by mulling over the looks of each member of the final support act Mackley Drive...

Why was my brain full of billions and billions of fuck? Me and my cousin both agreed that each of the five members looked as if they were from completely different bands to each other. Each looking as if they belonged to a different clique, they turned the instruments up and broke into opener 'Never', and from thereon I was engulfed in the music rather than the image, although that opinion still stands. The charisma of frontman/guitarist Joshua shone through in each song he delivered, clearly laying out his intentions to be a star. Rather than many young bands I've seen in the past who are fronted by someone rather introverted and shy onstage, this man looks like he is in his element, headbanging and moving around in what little space he is given on the stage. Each member of the band are talented in their own field, and with soaring numbers like 'The Bermuda Triangle' and closer 'Only a Matter of Time', their potential to grow and expand their songwriting calibre is incredibly encouraging. I looked at the band before they played and said to my cousin "I reckon they'll sound like The Smashing Pumpkins"... I was wrong. They sounded like The Smashing Pumpkins and so much more - alternative rock at it's finest; I hope they keep it up.

Do They Collide certainly had a tough act to follow. Another fairly young band who instead of resorting to jeans and a t-shirt turned up in wedding gear and with ornaments for stage props, including lamps and some pictures. Maybe they feel at home onstage (bum-bum-tssh). An instrumental introduction that turns from melodic to heavy echoes the epic sounds of yesteryear, optimising my anticipation levels for the set. The band keep it up, and there were songs that indeed fitted with their very pristine and clean image such as ballad 'Bedtime Stories', and with the lyrics "wishing you were next to me" you can imagine that frontman/acoustic guitarist Lew, like many of us, has possibly conjured up those lyrics from the heart. Not at all completely stuck on piano ballads, I mean they're not exactly The Script, they use the keyboards and loud guitars to great effect by creating an epic atmosphere to go with the melodic vocals, but then it all gets stripped back again on an acoustic rendition of 'Over The Inwards' delivered solely and impressively by Lew. The rest of the band take stage once more and one other song that caught my ears was 'Interesting Patterns on Walls', a solemn yet loud tune that echoed at times 'Fake Plastic Trees' by Radiohead - to me that is only a good thing. It's high volume to acoustic dynamics were very appealing to me and it shames me that bands writing songs of such quality are playing them in a venue as small as the Barfly when one wonders what they would sound like backed up by an orchestra or string quartet in the O2 Arena. The band leave to much applause and the night continues downstairs with a few beverages and some 80's pop. Thank you Camden for delivering me a fine Saturday night of live music.

Mackley Drive: https://www.facebook.com/mackleydrive
Do They Collide: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Do-They-Collide/142833245765612

Being in a band

"Being in a band turns you into a child and keeps you there." – Thom Yorke

Why did I pick up a guitar at the age of 13?

To show off? No.

To give me something to do in my dull and unfulfilling life? No.

To impress girls? Never on the agenda…

No, in all seriousness, I picked up a guitar so that I could attempt to emulate my idols, because for some reason in my head I thought I would eventually get somewhere with it. My idols at the time being Billie Joe Armstrong and Dave Grohl, it gave me a stepping-stone on which to begin my journey into basic guitar playing. Eventually I stumbled upon a buddy of mine who was also pursuing his own musical endeavour behind a drumkit. A quick chat followed and wouldn’t you know we decided to start a band, even on the basis of knowing fuck all about my instrument; all I knew was that I had to hit the strings hard.

Some dodgy name suggestions followed and in the end, we settled on the questionable choice of Hail To The Hostage. Not sure why, but there you go. A guitarist and a drummer just makes me think of The White Stripes or The Black Keys, which makes me wonder why we never called ourselves The Grey Keeps. Nevertheless, we were too young to play any serious gigs but we were always up to jam. With the addition of a bassist not long after and a second guitarist to lead us down some sort of dreaded Avenged Sevenfold pathway, progress was being made… well that depends on what you mean by progress. Some instrumental songs were written but that’s as far as it went. Hail To The Hostage split on the basis that nobody in Wolverhampton could sing, and other projects were undertaken.

Time passed, and then I found a lifeline. The conversation went something like this:
“Picko, you wanna start a band?”

“Sure. What’s our band name?”

“Kids Held Captive”

“Fuck sake, ok then”

KHC were underway: singer, guitarist, bassist and drummer.

Playing my first gig at the age of 15 was a fantastic feeling. I may have looked nervous onstage as the video evidence would testify, but I thrived on the environment. Playing riffs I’d made myself that sounded like they came out of a teenage Kurt Cobain’s scrapbook, I was enjoying the feeling. The genre of the music was generally indie rock, with me trying my best to steer the band towards alternative rock, because as far as I’m concerned, you can’t nail an indie sound with an Ibanez. Anyway, the gig went well, plenty of people from our school turned up to show their support and see how many mosh pits they could get away with, and the other bands on the bill went down a storm. It was my best high in a while.

Open mic nights and family parties followed, but with a member of the band sodding off to boarding school, practice became an impossible task, and KHC has since been put on ‘indefinite hiatus’. The only memories left of us now are a few dodgy recordings, and the memory of our first gig with the fellow bands from Adams’ Grammar.

I want it back though. I want a band in Wolverhampton with my mates and I want to jump around onstage, but it’ll have to wait due to University. Give it two or three more years sadly. It pains me that I can’t since a lot of my instrumentally sound friends like the same bands as me, and have a genuine passion for music. I'm not content with going alone since my singing voice ain't exactly Noel Gallagher, let alone Jeff Buckley. For now I guess the only way I can cope with it is knee-sliding in my room with my Fender. Might write some songs on the piano too, we’ll see. I’ll just need to make a call and get my autotune back from One Direction.

Watch this space.

Review: Muse - Survival

My God I have been waiting for a new song for too long, so I have felt compelled to review this bitch.

Where do I start? Oh yeah, the piano introduction of course, and no, I don't mean 'Prelude', as that is a different track. I mean, oh please! Anyway, I'm told it wasn't just me that thought it was originally Scissor Sisters breaking into 'Laura'? Well, yeah, it seems very similar. This does not amuse me (pun overused, yet intended). To be fair, it contributes greatly to the fact that 'Survival' is about as camp as a row of tents. But then... one and a half minutes in, oh sweet giblets. There are some guitar techniques and detuned riffage similar to what made me fall in love with Muse in the first place. The song has definitely picked up and revived my faith in the band. 

However, to say this song is viciously dry-humping Queen would be to say the words of truth. I'm a Queen fan, but Muse are not Queen, they're Muse (funnily enough!), and 'Origin of Symmetry' and 'Absolution' didn't need to sound like Queen to be good. They were diverse but not overblown, and were stationed within acceptable levels of over-the-top-ness. Comparisons with Queen continue as the operatic choir vocals carry their soprano tones throughout the second verse. A bass-heavy verse climaxes in a fucking maniacal Rage Against The Machine riff-fest. I am literally drooling at this point - I have not wanted to headbang and/or fistpump this much since I heard the ending to 'Stockholm Syndrome'. Using a low G# string on the guitar has given this song beef not seen since 'Citizen Erased', which it definitely needed. If the guitar sections weren't in this song then I'd probably be more nervous of the reaction this song would get as the London 2012 Olympic Anthem. 

Guitar orgasms aside though, these lyrics are atrocious. I mean it, they're shite. Bellamy, who is a talented songwriter and lyricist, I expected to do better. Did he give a piece of paper to his baby boy and let him write it? "Life's race, I'm gonna win, I'll light the fuse, I'll never lose" - come on Bellamy, buck up your ideas man! That is dire. Guess what though? I DON'T CARE. His lyrics hardly make any sense anyway, so why should I care this time? Not going to deny that he has cocked up there though, so I hold more hope for some improvements in time for new album 'The 2nd Law'.

From what I've heard from the previews, it's going to be a controversial album. 'Survival' and a preview of 'Unsustainable' have surfaced over recent times, with the latter giving an insight into a new era of Muse-dubstep; Musestep if you will. Even for dubstep it sounds ok, but it's only a preview and I will reserve full judgement when the album is out in September. And as for the fans who are haters of this song, they're too narrow-minded and selfish to see that the band are no longer stuck in 'Origin of Symmetry' or 'Absolution', and even though I do cry out for some heavy rock from Muse, I accept what they currently are, which many others don't. As for now, enjoy the two links below (first minute of the first link is 'Prelude'), and enjoy having 'Survival' shoved in your faces and down your eardrums throughout London 2012.

Rating: 7/10

Best part: Nearly 3 minutes in: "I'm gonna wiiiiiiiiiin" followed by big fuck off pwoper beefy riff

The best job in the world?

Fuck that Australian tropical island caretaker (labelled as 'best job in the world'). As good as that job sounds, I might have an idea of what knocks it off it's throne.

Any idea who this man is?

No?

Don't blame you really.

This man goes by the name of Rob Holliday, and he plays guitar for dance-rock juggernauts The Prodigy. My friends, I believe this man is lucky enough to have the greatest job in the world right now, and let me tell you why.

The Prodigy were named not long ago as 'the greatest dance act of all time' by Mixmag, a famous dance music publication, pipping the likes of Daft Punk, Fatboy Slim and Aphex Twin to the top spot. They consistently sell their albums into the millions and based on the strength of their loyal fanbase have managed to keep selling out every venue they play. That and they are easily one of the best live acts in the world - if you haven't seen them live, you are seriously missing out. If you didn't enjoy it then you have my permission to slap me.

Holliday has played guitar for the band over two periods of time, whilst he has been juggling with stints playing guitar for Gary Numan, Marilyn Manson and his own band Sulpher. His full focus now is on The Prodigy, since a new album will be out in no time and the band will end up on some sort of everlasting world tour. Now, I've been a big fan of The Prodigy ever since my Dad blasted 'Fat Of The Land' through his car at any given opportunity to try and sway me at the age of 10 (he didn't play 'Smack My Bitch Up' or 'Funky Shit' though), but after I started noticing their live shows when 'Invaders Must Die' came out and they played just about every festival in Britain, I took note of Rob. He's a big lad, not someone you'd square up to that's for sure, and this adds to the menacing demeanour that The Prodigy give off. He adds a lot to the live performances of the band, as does the drummer Leo Crabtree, as they both display plenty of energy and really let loose.

Taking that into account, it is clear that Rob has a ball onstage. He has permission to go bonkers and fuck shit up, and what better music to do it to than The Prodigy. From my point of view too, playing guitar to The Prodigy is not at all difficult, meaning it's easier to hit notes when you're knee-sliding and jumping off podiums. What makes the job especially unique though is that he is not instantly recognisable. If people passed him on the street, would they know him? No, hardly anyone would. They'd notice the distinctive Keith Flint, but not Rob. The same thing applies to a lot of backing musicians, but Rob feels like such an integral part of what a live show should be about that his importance is very profound. He's famous, but nobody really knows him, apart from those who have been influenced by him, like me. His private life is hardly a topic for magazines and fanzines etc. etc. but he still gets paid like a MUTHA. Playing guitar for The Prodigy is a big deal, and the live shows makes up his income (he's not in the band, he's a live musician with the drummer).

What I'd like to know is, what job entitles you to from one minute rock out a guitar to 60,000 people when headlining a festival, to becoming unrecognisable and a mere mortal the moment you walk offstage? One thing we also cannot deny is that this man knows how to have fun. Watch the clip below of 'Run With The Wolves' at Milton Keynes Bowl and see for yourself; it is my dream someday to be in his shoes. What I would give to be able to play 'Their Law' and 'Smack My Bitch Up' to a field of violent fans.

Catchy catchy slowly monkey

"Papz see me up in the vicinity and flash me, I'm the definition of definitive and catchy"

Tinie Tempah

Tell me though, what makes a song catchy? Guitar solos do it for you? Keyboard riffs? Chords? Or even vocals? For me, it is all of them, but when I think of catchy, I put great emphasis on the chords used in songs, and depending on the sequence the chords are used in, it will present itself in a distinctive key. Catchy songs don't necessarily have to be happy tunes that people can bust their best moves to; they can be catchy that they send a shiver down your spine as if the song is massaging you - a digital massage if you will...
Agree with these upcoming choices?

Gary Jules - Mad World

This Tears For Fears cover was used in the cult film Donnie Darko, and gained the UK Christmas No.1 spot in 2003. It is a soft piano cover that is easily one of the most emotional pieces of popular music ever recorded. Set in the key of C Minor with a chord progression of Fm-Ab-Eb-Bb, it doesn't change much throughout the song, but the use of many flat chords makes this song so catchy for me; they're the sort of chords I can listen to all day long. Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that the same chord progression is used in the verses for 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day, which a lot of you will remember was my favourite song for a while. I also love listening to the chorus when the vocoder kicks in on Jules' voice; it's moving to say the least, and in a way, catchy.

Biffy Clyro - Mountains

Choosing this song is based around the chords used once more; most of them are flat. The guitars are detuned to make it easier for the Scottish power-trio to control. The key part for me in this song is the post-chorus part that kicks in precisely one minute in (Ab5-Bb5-F#5-Db5), and especially the second time around when there is an addition of a piano melody to compliment the raw sound being produced. This is Biffy's anthem and no wonder. It's not quite them at their most creative, but it's still identifiable enough to be Biffy Clyro. Mon the Biffy!

Coldplay - In My Place

Throughout my teens, this was one song that I would hear the guitar over and over again in my head but would never remember the name of the song. It finally came to me on the way to a night up town (yeeeeeah) and I was listening to Coldplay play live at Glastonbury 2011 on Radio 1, and then this gem appeared three songs in. After hearing Chris Martin's whispered words of "In my place, in my place, were lines that I couldn't change", I knew I'd found the song. After a decent night up town (yeeeeeah) I proceeded to go on my laptop the next day, YouTube this and listen to it pretty much all day. I shit you not, I must've played it about 20 times on guitar for the rest of the day. I just couldn't keep my ears off the guitar riff, a simple E octave in the key of A Major that also implements a B and a C#. This song will always remind me of the best summer ever: 2011.

Smashing Pumpkins - 1979

Another chance for me to blag about why 90's bands were better than a lot of bands of the Noughties. Take an alternative rock band from America, and give the band permission to use a sampler and you get this. A loop of "ooh", although it's not very distinguishable, is an ever-present throughout the song, and adds to its many licks and gives it an extra attractive quality; the key of Eb Major helps too, leaving a disposal of D, Eb and Bb octaves to be used. Again, the use of chords grabs me, and whilst it took some getting used to, I have now begun to adore it as one of my all time favourites.

Mindthings - Elle

French musician Clement Peres composes atmospheric instrumental music and allows all you lovely people to download his album 'Resonance' free of charge. Sweeping bluesy guitars accompany an Fm-C#-G# chord progression to create an unearthed diamond - it is relaxing as it is catchy. His entire album is made up of similar numbers that create a calm atmosphere to clear the mind and appreciate what is around you. Listen to 'The Colours of Happiness' and 'Artificial World' too - you'll be better off for it.

To summarise, give a guitarist a capo and make him attach it to the first fret, or make him tune it down a semitone, or ask your pianist to use only sharp/flat notes and you have yourself a catchy song in my book (that's just me though - you may or may not concur). This doesn't guarantee success though (having said that, all the songs mentioned have been very successful singles). Yes I love songs with memorable riffs such as MGMT's 'Kids', anything off Deadmau5's 'Random Album Title' or anything that Two Door Cinema Club do, and damn are they catchy, but here are offerings that I consider to be catchy; they are catchy because they keep me wanting more. I couldn't stop listening to all four of these songs when I first heard them, as they'd hooked me in - you might say that I was the catch they caught with their catchiness.

Upcoming gigs

Studying in a coastal Welsh town with train links only to Birmingham doesn't give me much scope for going to gigs when at university, unless I can find the time to travel and the money, but over the summer and later in the year I am happy to go say that I will be attending some concerts.

They all, bar one for clear reasons, happen to be at the same place: Wolverhampton Civic Hall. A fantastic venue in my home town that many acts have confessed their love for, notably McFly, who claim it is their absolute favourite venue to play because "the crowd are so loud, they go nuts", but the hall is also noted for the rumours that there is apparently oil placed beneath the floor of the main room to make it easier for attendants to bounce. On stage, this must ensure a wonderful spectacle, and with brilliant acoustics and facilities, who can argue?

Stewart Francis

1st June - Wolverhampton Civic Hall

Now I know it's not music but bear with me! As soon as my exams finish I am heading home to my loving family. The first thing me and my Dad are going to do? Go and watch Stewart Francis. A notorious one-liner with a droll onstage demeanour that makes Fonzie seem uncool, his delivery is perfection. You may have seen him on Mock the Week, Live at the Apollo and Michael Mcintyre's Comedy Roadshow, and if you haven't, please go ahead and YouTube him. A man who, like the great Colin Mochrie, pokes fun at his Canadianism, is a hot ticket right now and is currently in the middle of his UK tour. Having seen many hilarious comedy shows in my time from the likes of Stephen K Amos, Jimmy Carr, Reginald D Hunter, Milton Jones, and of course, the great Frankie Boyle, Mr Francis certainly has a lot to live up to. I just hope it's not a case of 'My Dad took me to see Stewart Francis and I remember swimming back to shore thinking...'

Blur (TBC)

5/6th August - Wolverhampton Civic Hall

Welcoming back the Britpop Daddys is going to be one hell of a night, provided I acquire a ticket considering they go on sale on Friday, hence the TBC. Having seen Blur at the Civic Hall back in 2009, I am excited to be able to relive that night. I sat on the balcony on the right hand side very near the stage, and I don't usually like to sit at gigs but it was fun to watch the crowd go completely ape. Wolverhampton are lucky to have Blur visit not once, but twice. This again crosses with the fact that Blur love the venue, and they must have a good time here back in 2009. Considered warm-up shows before their big gigs in Hyde Park, that very gig could be the last time we could see Blur live, so I'd consider it an honour if I got to go to this with my dear friends. Fingers crossed!

Leeds Festival

24th-26th August - Bramham Park, Leeds

Being something of a V Festival veteran, I decided this year to branch out a bit and try something else. So when V announced the lineup a couple of months ago, I was left a bit unimpressed. I've had some fantastic years there seeing some great shows but as a fan of rock music, I don't really get my fill at Weston Park. Along with a selection of my chums from home I shall be heading up to Bramham Park in Leeds for a five day binge whilst seeing the occasional band. Seriously though, I will see as many bands as I can, with the ones I'm looking forward to most being the mighty Foo Fighters. I last saw them at V Festival in 2007 and they were brilliant; it's been a long time coming, and I especially look forward to seeing the new material played live. A dilemma on the Saturday leaves me having to choose between The Cure and The Maccabees, but as with every time I go to a festival, it always ends up as a last minute decision. Sunday will be a fantastic send off to what should be a smashing weekend, with Kasabian holding a reputation as an energetic live band. Like with Foo Fighters, I last saw them at V Festival 2007 (passing up the opportunity to see them headline the 2010 festival in favour of The Prodigy), meaning I have yet to see their last two records performed live, and I anticipate an incredible finale. I will also be checking out Pulled Apart By Horses, The Gaslight Anthem, Bullet For My Valentine (for old times sake), The Black Keys (sadly missing Two Door Cinema Club in favour of watching The Black Keys and getting a good space for Foo Fighters), Foster The People, Enter Shikari, and Gallows. This has potential to be one damn fine weekend of music.

Lostprophets

1st November - Wolverhampton Civic Hall

A visit to Wolverhampton once again to see the Welsh metal-pop-emo hybrid known as Lostprophets. Coinciding with my brothers 18th birthday two days later, this is a fantastic excuse to come home and spend some time with him, however he is not going to this gig. I will be attending with my cohorts James and Daniel for my fifth time seeing this band (twice at V, three at Civic). Guaranteed carnage awaits when the anthems of old come out in force. 'Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja' guarantees nobody remains untouched in the crowd and by the end of that song the people at the back will have swapped places with the people on the barrier. This is the third time in four years that Lostprophets have played this venue, so something tells me they enjoy the lovely people of Wolverhampton.

Feeder

21st November - Wolverhampton Civic Hall

Twenty days after the Lostprophets gig I am back in Wolverhampton once more, this time to see one of the most underrated British bands of all time with Mr Potts: Feeder. Having had the pleasure of seeing them in the Wulfrun Hall back in October 2010, it will be a mass sing-along from the off. Last time for me it was a shame though as a week prior to the gig, I tore my ankle ligaments playing football and was on crutches for a while, hindering my attempts at bouncing throughout the show, even during 'Buck Rogers'. I did however manage to get my crutches in the air when 'Feeling a Moment' was played; whether the band noticed or not I have no idea. I did have the pleasure of meeting the band after the gig though after a while of waiting in the cold with some obsessed fans who had seen them about 20 times; this was my second Feeder show after seeing them at V two months prior. They were true gentlemen and apologised for keeping us waiting with offerings of cans of Guinness, Coca-Cola and even a bag of sweets. Singer/axeman Grant Nicholas knows how to write a tune, and is also a big influence on my guitar style, and when I told him this he genuinely seemed flattered, and our friendly handshake turned into a half-hug; for a man who must get a lot of compliments thrown his way, it was a nice moment to see his face light up when I praised him. God I'm a suck up...

Yes I was wearing a Muse shirt under the cardigan. WOT OF IT?!

Pickering's theory of evolution

Most people throughout life grow up, and with that comes a more sophisticated human. People change their hobbies, their habits and their friends. Influences come from all sorts of different directions: other people close to them, idols, television and other forms of media etc. This is the case with artists too, and like with people, there are some out there who will not like the change. This demonstrates how precious time can be with bands; savour their music because you never know what kind of malfunctioning clap-trap will come bursting out of them next.

As bands change, the fanbase changes. To all the hipsters out there who when they go and see a newish band at a small club, don't get upset when they upgrade to a bigger venue because they released a catchy song to hump the Top 40, and as a result more posers are turning up. It happens, it's the equivalent of musical prostitution or a one-night stand, and they may live to regret that.

Arctic Monkeys

Everybody's favourite British indie monsters Arctic Monkeys rapidly blew us all away with a suckerpunch of a first album. 'Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not' was the dream debut for the Sheffield quartet, culminating in two No.1 singles ('I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor' and 'When The Sun Goes Down') and scooping the Mercury Music Prize in 2006. The genre of the album was essentially British indie rock for the youth, with subject matter relying on topics that would strike a chord with young people e.g. lost love and funnily enough, prostitutes. I must admit, this writer was a little wary of how quickly everyone took to the band, and in my phase of extreme musical snobbery (when I believed that Green Day were still the best thing in the world), I initially dismissed them as "alright, but a bit overhyped for what they are" (I gather some of you will be choking on your chicken after noticing the incredible irony of that statement). Anyway, I didn't think they would last too long, but Alex Turner's enthusiasm to churn out as many albums as quickly as possible has fuelled their long term fame, and after releasing fourth album 'Suck It and See' in 2011, they have turned up the fuzz on the guitars and Alex Turner comes off as a very sexy Northerner. In 2006 they sounded close to bands like The Strokes, whereas now with the fourth album it's closer to the garage stoner-rock of Queens of the Stone Age, probably due to their new found friendship with Josh Homme of said band. Personally, I am a fan of this particular evolution.

Notice the evolution:

Mardy Bum (2006) vs Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair (2011)

Biffy Clyro

Proud Scots Biffy Clyro are a driving force for angular rock music, or at least they used to be; nowadays they have replaced 'angular' with a more familiar word such as 'generic', but the strange aura is still there in small doses. My previous statement doesn't mean that they have turned bad though, as I still maintain that 'Only Revolutions' is my favourite album of all time. Debut 'Blackened Sky' was released in 2002 and proved that even after the death of Nirvana eight years prior to it, there was still hope for loud three-pieces who played proper rock music. '57' featured awkward time signatures with a drumbeat that air drummers would feel funny drumming to, and like '57', 'Joy.Discovery.Invention' demonstrated the vocal powers of all three members. Throughout the albums leading up to 2006's 'Puzzle' ('The Vertigo Of Bliss' and 'Infinity Land'), the band stuck with the formula of making raucous noise, but songs managed to get weirder and weirder, with new instruments being introduced and strange song titles. A good example of this is the song 'There's No Such Thing As A Jaggy Snake' from 2004's 'Infinity Land' (if your favourite Biffy song is 'Many of Horror', I dare you to listen to this). A song that has everything: quiet dual-vocals, incomprehensible screaming and crushing rhythms that if it were a punch, it would take your head right off. In the aftermath of 'Puzzle' and 'Only Revolutions', Biffy alienated the odd few fans who yearned for their explosive heaviness, but they gained much wider recognition by including some catchier numbers such as 'A Whole Child Ago' and 'Many of Horror'. Not to say they still aren't heavy, as songs like 'Cloud of Stink' and the mathematics that is 'That Golden Rule' should testify.

Notice the evolution:

Eradicate The Doubt (2003) vs Mountains (2008)

Muse

With musical transitions so abstract and clear that Madonna refused to release their second album in the United States, Muse are a perfect example of musical evolution. Beginning life as the accused spawn of Radiohead, the band chalked up a few enemies (or as Matt Bellamy called them: "lazy journalists") as youngsters for making hints that they were the second coming of the Oxford quintet. With a falsetto vocalist and indie riffs it was easy to make such a comparison, but the band didn't let this compromise their progress. They toured, toured and toured for their lives, which has now helped cement their place as the best live band in the world. With the mix of melodic piano and dirty guitars on debut 'Showbiz' from 1999, they set a precedent. This album would later go on to inspire Chris Martin to get Coldplay on their way to making second album 'A Rush of Blood To The Head'. As 'Origin of Symmetry' and 'Absolution' came whizzing around the corner in 2001 and 2003 respectively, new sounds had been absorbed from the ionosphere. Heavy organs on 'Space Dementia', American metal influences on 'The Small Print' and piano crescendos on 'Apocalypse Please' were all testament to Bellamy's views on modern politics and religion, which planted the seeds of evolution in Muse. As not seen on the first album though, 'Origin of Symmetry' and 'Absolution' both paved the way for Muse to release their Rage... their Rage Against The Machine that is. With RATM guitarist Tom Morello being a massive influence on Bellamy, the guitars were detuned and the riffs were seismic (see 'New Born', 'Micro Cuts', 'Dead Star' and 'Hyper Music' for what I mean). 2006 brought about 'Black Holes & Revelations', a Mercury-nominated album influenced by many things including Morricone and New York club music, that took apart the modern world and shoved spaghetti western in there for the hell of it. You would never hear songs as bonkers and amazing as 'Knights Of Cydonia' and 'Map Of The Problematique' on 'Showbiz'. Finally in 2009 when 'The Resistance' came out, Muse had reached a new level of maturity. They still had the dance-groove that they carried over from 'Black Holes & Revelations', but one word sprang to mind on some songs: grandiose. 'United States of Eurasia' is a destructive fist-pumper of a piano anthem, and has Queen written all over it, and finally, the 'Exogenesis' three-part symphony composed by Bellamy himself. 90's kids probably never envisioned that the three-piece who coined 'Plug In Baby' would go on to compose a 13 minute symphony, yet still be distinctive enough to sound like Muse. As for my view, I pretty much love every song they do, but I have my favourites, and they are usually the ones with heavy guitars.

Notice the evolution:

Sunburn (1999) vs Bliss (2001) vs United States of Eurasia (2009)

Radiohead

Listening to Radiohead initially inspired me to write this article because they are basically the kingpins of change. Formed in Oxford in 1985, but not finding fame until the release of hit single 'Creep' in 1993, the debut effort 'Pablo Honey' failed to cause much of a stir. Taking a Brit-rock grunge style and singing about teen angst was their forte, but it did nothing to exactly set the world alight. It was clear that a change in direction was needed. Next came 'The Bends' in 1995, which is my personal favourite Radiohead album. Still keeping their triple guitar line-up meant they were still rocking out, but it was more Jeff Buckley than Pixies. The album was a much bigger success than 'Pablo Honey' and would go on to achieve triple platinum status in the UK and is consistently ranked among the greatest albums in the world, along with follow-up album 'OK Computer', released in 1997. Both albums delivered a message that Radiohead were the saviours of rock, and following those albums, fans and critics anticipated something even better, bigger and bolder. Boy were they in for a shock when 'Kid A' (2000) and 'Amnesiac' (2001) were brought into the world. With singer Thom Yorke becoming increasingly frustrated with the musical direction of the band and battling his own depression, he decided to do things his way and convinced the band to take on a more electronic and unconventional approach, being under the influence of the music he was currently listening to. They were still classed as a rock band, but it was about to become so underground and alternative that it was closer to electronica and jazz. Following up an album with epics like 'Paranoid Android' (known as the 90's Bohemian Rhapsody) and 'Lucky' was never going to be easy, but it was a shock to the system when snippets of the albums were released, and tracks such as 'Idioteque' and 'Everything In Its Right Place' were seen as the answer to what the fans cried out for. Naturally this alienated a lot of the fans who had come to love Radiohead as the depressing rockers they once were, but they grew; they evolved. Nevertheless the album was a huge success and hit No.1 in the USA, which basically turned them into royalty across the pond. 'Hail To The Thief' (2003) saw a return to form for the band with a number of rock songs, but 'In Rainbows' (2007) and 'The King of Limbs' (2011) once again showed just how far the experimental quintet could take the rock genre. The evolution of this band in particular has been an interesting one, but I was only 2 years old when 'The Bends' was released, and I do wish I could've been old enough to pick up the CD brand new in 1995 and see them play the setlist live. Sadly with such a vast back catalogue I think I will have to keep on dreaming about seeing any of the songs off the album being played live.

Notice the evolution:

Black Star (1995) vs Paranoid Android (1997) vs Everything In Its Right Place (2000) vs Nude (2007)

FIFA's greatest song choices

The FIFA franchise has given the males (and to avoid sexism, some of the females) of Britain so much to laugh and cry about, encouraging competition and banter between the many participants. Along with this game there have been many different cultural aspects of life added to it, most recently the 'FIFA apology rules', where the loser of a game shall somewhat gracefully apologise to their superiors for being such a disgrace to the beautiful game. However, over the years it has become notoriously well known for having a diverse soundtrack on each instalment. I'm here to pick apart each of the games to decipher what I feel are the most defining songs of the series. I'll put them in no particular order...

1) Moby - Bodyrock

From: FIFA 2001

I believe I'm right in saying that FIFA 2001 was the first FIFA game that I owned. I remember the countless hours I spent in hysterics fouling the opposition goalkeeper and getting a straight red card for it, no matter how good or bad the challenge was, and listening to the hilarious comments from John Motson and Mark Lawrenson. It's as if the goalkeeper was akin to the Dalai Lama. I think after scoring so many own goals on purpose to constantly hear what gem Motson and Lawro would come up with next eventually led to the games inability to function. Anyway, I'm rambling...
This was the song I first remember when I think of that game. It's lyrics are easy to remember, and it's beats are funky as hell, so who could not remember this? It also introduced the game in the opening credits. Moby has produced some fine gems such as 'Lift Me Up' and 'Porcelain', but for nostalgic reasons this ranks above them in my personal list.

2) Gorillaz - 19-2000 (Soulchild remix)

From: FIFA 2002

Now I'm not normally one for remixes, but when Soulchild remixed the hit song '19-2000' back in 2001, it proved to be more popular than the original. I prefer it because it's more upbeat and definitely more catchy, as opposed to the sluggish snail-race of the original. It managed to staple itself as a FIFA classic when it introduced the 2002 instalment over a montage of players displaying a vast array of tekkers. Whenever I still listen to this song I can't help but think of a badly animated figure doing rainbow flicks over their rivals, and I love it!

3) Caesars - Jerk It Out

From: FIFA 2004

To kick things off (excuse the pun), but this is not a song about masturbation. Well, we're told so.

This song was released as a single back in 2003 but failed to make any significant impact on the charts, peaking at no.60, but a re-release in 2005 prompted a climb up to no.8, most likely down to the impact this song had made on impressionable buyers of FIFA 2004. Show this to most young adult males and chances are they will recognise it from FIFA. Caesars couldn't live up to the quality of this tune, and correct me if I'm wrong but I now assume that they're nowhere to be found, having not released a single since 2008? Or are they just not allowed to leave Sweden anymore since they became their most valuable asset ahead of Zlatan Ibrahimovic and the surviving members of Abba?

4) Dandy Warhols - We Used To Be Friends

From: FIFA 2004

Those yankies The Dandy Warhols have sure given us some catchy "aaahh's" de temps en temps. Here is one of the main examples. It is probably more well known as the Veronica Mars opening theme, but when released, it failed to peak in the US charts. However, Britain warmed to it and six months after it charted at no.18 in the national charts, it was added to the FIFA 2004 soundtrack. I wish they could go back to the quality of this and Bohemian Like You, two absolute classics from America over the noughties, although I will say that their songs had a very British feel to them, which was enjoyable and probably why it was so popular here.

5)  Stone Roses - Fools Gold

From: FIFA 2004

Hate on me all you want but FIFA 2004 was the first chance I got to hear this song (I was born in 1993 dammit!). I do like Ian Brown's vocals in this, as there is no way he could've pulled this off had he been hitting a high C above D. The moodiness of his vocals only make this song better, along with it's iconic bassline, shuffling snare drum and wah-wah-pedal-mad guitar. As with the Gorillaz song, hearing this nowadays still takes me back to the young days of playing as England and handing out some ass whoopin'.

6) Kasabian - L.S.F.
From: FIFA 2004

Kasabian broke through into a stage of recognition after the release of their self-titled debut album in 2004. Since then they have yet to disappoint with any of their 4 releases, with each album building yet more on their tower of festival anthems. L.S.F. (Lost Souls Forever) was included on the FIFA 2004 soundtrack and whilst it is a successful song in it's own right (named by NME Magazine as no.37 of the 50 Greatest Indie Anthems Ever), it has forever been a popular choice by EA Sports and has been identified as one of FIFA's many anthems. I also can't wait until they play this at Leeds Festival, where I shall be soaking up the sweat of the crowd and singing my heart out.

7) The Doves - Black and White Town
From: FIFA 2006

This single from February 2005 is one of The Doves most successful singles, if not the most. Therefore, unlike some of the inclusions here, it's success is not down to it's release on FIFA. Noted for it's heavy piano and atmospheric feel, a staple of The Doves, the band have enjoyed a lengthy success off of many songs like 'Black and White Town'. A popular inclusion in the game, it was sadly mis-credited by EA as 'Stars of CCTV' by Hard-Fi; make what you will of that but they are two completely different songs. Maybe 'Black and White Town' was EA's backup choice that they put in by accident?

8) Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You
From: FIFA 2009

Indie pop adults Black Kids re-released this song a year after it came out in 2007 from the band's demo. All bi-curiosity aside ("You are the girl, that I've been dreaming of, ever since I was a little girl"), it is a friendly fun-loving hit that suited FIFA perfectly. However, the song that ended up on FIFA was a remix from The Twelves, but they sounded equally as good. Listening to this always reminds me of playing with Wolves on Career Mode and metaphorically telling Man Utd "get out of the way, here I come".

9) Passion Pit - Moth's Wings
From: FIFA 10

This song didn't make me think about FIFA at all. I thought it belonged on some game like any of the Spyro series (had there been any soundtracks to Spyro games) due to it's spine-tingling piano. It just didn't feel right at first, but I gradually warmed to it and lo and behold it has ended up on this list. When I listen to this I can't help but think of opening my first pack on Ultimate Team and remembering my only decent card was Juanfran (gold)... I miss having the Xbox around.

10) The Enemy - Be Somebody
From: FIFA 10

The Enemy were set for greatness, and even they themselves knew it, once proclaiming that they "are here to save British rock". To be fair, whilst I don't agree with that statement completely considering the amount of decent British rock bands there are at the moment, everything about The Enemy is quintessentially British, and it should be embraced. They are a Coventry version of Oasis (less style and not as many anthems), but give them time and they can be Manchester standard. Take this song for instance, a proper Brit-rock number that Gallagher would've been happy with had he penned it. It is a football anthem for the masses, having appeared on FIFA 10 and now is the theme for ITV's coverage of the FA Cup. A good live band too, so go and see them.

Mainstream. That word gets thrown around a lot these days, doesn’t it? But what is mainstream, and why is it a good thing?

You see it all the time; small people with small minds actively disliking artists/bands who they used to like, purely because they’ve gone ‘mainstream’. Think about it; if a band’s good, the music they play is good and everybody likes them, what else is going to happen to them? Are they going to be obscure recluses for their entire career? No! They’re going to get onto the charts, into stadiums and into everyone’s ear canals.

Normally this issue wouldn’t bother me, the person in question would receive a sharp kick to the genitals, and I would carry on with my day. But when a YouTube user (they will remain nameless because I’ve forgotten their username) commented on a Kasabian video saying: ‘Great, Kasabian are mainstream now, I just can’t listen to them’, the straw was pulled and the camel’s back was broken. I couldn’t disagree with what he was saying; arguing with someone on YouTube is comparable to having an ‘About Me’ section on Facebook which is longer than two paragraphs, or physically enjoying a Justin Bieber album. Arguing would mean I’d hit rock bottom. And I’m not there yet.

First of all; are Kasabian mainstream? I mean, Katy Perry, No Direction and Beyonce can be considered mainstream; they have a colossal fanbase and largely dominate the charts. They’re repeatedly played on most radio stations and you’d be hard pushed not to find someone who hasn’t heard of them. And thinking about it, yes, bands like Kasabian, Arctic Monkeys and Muse are going mainstream. More people are listening to them, buying their albums and having pathetic arguments on YouTube about who listened to them first. And secondly, you know something? I absolutely love it when a favourite of mine goes mainstream! If a band/artist sells more albums, sees more people coming to their gigs and hearing positive feedback about their work, what are they going to do? Turn around and say; “Fuck this, I’m going to be a plumber”? No, they’re going to make more (arguably) great music! That ladyman called Skrillex is making his way into the charts, meaning he’s going to bang more scrap metal together and make more dubstep! Muse filled out countless arenas and Wembley twice with ‘The Resistance’, so what are they doing? Making a sixth album!

And what’s more is, in years to come; your band/artist will be remembered. People still remember and enjoy Queen, and they were pretty much everywhere in the 70’s/80’s. If they go mainstream, it means they’re good, it means their music makes a difference in people’s lives. Yes, I absolutely hate Justin Bieber, and feel that he’d only sound good going through a meat mincer on fire, but millions enjoy his music, and he will be remembered for years to come. That’s the thing; once you become big, the chances of you dying out become small.

So to finish boys and girls, stop bitching about your band/artist going mainstream. If they’re so God damn good and popular, how the hell are you going to keep them underground? Plus, if you were there at those first few sweaty gigs in a dingy pub, consider it an honour, not a reason to start shooting your mouth off on YouTube. In December, a chap called Miles Kane supported Kasabian. He’s got one album out, and he’s still doing the small hall rounds. But his talent and showmanship means that in a couple of years’ time, he’ll be doing the arena rounds.

And I’ll be there waiting for him.

Oliver Butler